News Report: PETA Gone Wild: Mother Sues Nintendo Over Pokemon
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If you have ever heard of PETA, chances are you have heard something bad about them, like them going crazy over simple matters. What was once thought to be a reputable animal protection organization, quickly lost their credibility over the many incidents where they lose their mind like this mother.Pokemon X-Y is on the shelves, and on TV now and if you did not know that, we're sorry for not having time to report on it. :( However, with the release of Pokemon X-Y comes great responsibility as a Pokemon trainer, like hiding the fact that you're playing a Pokemon game to your border-line insane mother. Meet Kathy Guillermo, the Senior Vice President of Laboratory Investigations at PETA. She became very, very upset and emotionally distressed when she saw the Pokemon game that her daughter was playing (maybe a Digimon fan?). She had barely heard much about Pokemon, which is strange because PETA had released at least two Pokemon games on their own where the roles are reversed and the Pokemon go out and battle humans.At any rate, when Guillermo saw Pokemon X-Y, which was given to her daughter as a present by a boy, she went completely nuts. She wrestled the 3DS out of the girl's hands and broke the system, and then allegedly "flushed the game along with cat droppings". Not only disrespectful to gamers and Pokemon fans worldwide, but a game is not cheap and kids aren't rich.So what exactly made her snap like this? Let's go back in time prior to her snapping and see the reason why she did. Prior to going on a video-game murdering spree, she did some research on what Pokemon X-Y is about or rather Pokemon in general. She came across a few Pokemon videos; the first once was a video from Pokemon X-Y (Anime) where Cubone lost his mom by Team Rocket. As you can see, it's a sad moment in Anime, but I thought Cubone don't have a skull-mask until their mother is killed? Hmm... Well, at any rate, apparently Guillermo is new to anime and doesn't really know how sad it can get. But what really supposedly traumatized her was that she misunderstood Cubone's face and assumed that it was running away from poachers whom defaced Cubone. But, defacing isn't something Team Rocket would ever do, in fact that's a job for Squirtle.Now here's the next video. It's actually pretty crazy for a Pokemon clip. I haven't yet had the chance to watch Pokemon X-Y but this video shows a Charmander covered in Squirtle's strange white bodily fluids and then proceeding to om nom Charmander's face in a scream of terror. It's actually pretty frightening for a Pokemon show.I mean, look at the trainer's face as Charmander has his face literally ripped of from Squirtle's sharp fags. It's deliciously evil isn't it? How many times have we secretly wished that they made Apokelypse a real movie?Guillermo claims that those clips caused her emotional trauma and to snap (completely ignoring her prior mental issues) so she is meeting with her lawyers (more than one?) about suing Nintendo and McDonalds (I guess Ronald looks too much like Mr. Mime) for emotional damages and a new 3DS that she broke with her own hands.You know, I'm completely for protecting animals, bugs or what have you. I may not be a vegetarian but I respect animals, especially dogs as members of the family. But sometimes PETA goes beyond reason and sues, or torches down buildings and in this case, a simple game that is no more violent than any other game.Sure, I get where she is coming from, Pokemon is basically fantasy cockfighting. But that doesn't mean that kids will go out and fight dogs, turtles, and other animals because of a game. If games and TV shows were that influential, there would be a lot more teenage pregnancies (MTV's Teen Mom) and people joining the Army (America's Army videogame). Oh wait... NEVERMIND, bad example. Just kidding, it makes no difference So now this poor little girl had to suffer and experience a traumatic experience which she will never forget when her own mother went completely insane, wrestled for her 3DS, broke it, and flushed the game down with cat droppings and then made a fool out of herself by going after a game company and the clown of burgers. To make matters worse, the brave heroic boy that gave her a copy of the game is blacklisted from the family. Wouldn't his gesture of kindness be treated as almost the perfect birthday gift for a girl?(listen to this song in a new tab as you read on to set the mood)I lower my hat in honor of our fallen brother, whom had saved many weeks of allowances to afford a game that was eventually flushed down a toilet and defiled by cat droppings. Please let us know who you are so you can be remembered throughout history, and if you have a PayPal account, let us know so that you might have a chance on buying her a new 3DS with X-Y again to play at school. Never give up on love, even if the mother-in-law is crazy (which is also coincidentally an anagram for WOMAN HITLER = MOTHER IN LAW). ~ooooh Danny Boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling.~In the presumable event that Kathy Guillermo wants to sue us for emotional damages, we're not a corporation nor located in the US (or required to obey US laws). In fact, that poor boy should call protective services because you likely traumatized your own daughter for life. What an ironic twist if his parents would take custody of your daughter and they could play Pokemon forever together. Bwahaha~ No but seriously, get mental help please. Your daughter needs you to be sane.
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